what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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