But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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