sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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