Whod you bang
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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