Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
