oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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