but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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