THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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