Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
