Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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