sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
