Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
