oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
