She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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