You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
