sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
