You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
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