upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
