I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
