They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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