I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
