im drinking this country out of the recession.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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