Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
