Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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