i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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