super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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