Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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