HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he fucked my hip out of place.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
