my mouth tastes like poor choices
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so let's talk penis.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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