its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
