it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
