dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So much rum. So many feels.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
