Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry rusholmeruffian hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(631): View more from New York

Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s

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(541): View more from Oregon

No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.

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(909): View more from California

Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...

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(615): View more from Tennessee

If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?

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(653): View more from

I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.

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