Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
