I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
