I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
MIDGETS
????
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
