I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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