i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I understand Curling. That high.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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