you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
