I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
