you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
