did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
