The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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