Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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