ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
