I heard we made out
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
