Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
