Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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