so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just invented taco cereal.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
