yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
